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Judy Sims

How to Say "No": Scripts and Strategies for Setting Boundaries with Confidence


Woman saying no

Talk to any woman in her 30s, 40s or 50s and she’ll tell you how strapped for time she is. Between looking after the needs of our bosses, our employees, our clients, our spouses, our children, and let's face it, anyone else in our line of sight, there’s not a lot of time for ourselves.


I’ve had many clients ask, “When does it all end?”


My answer is always the same, “When you learn to say ‘no’.’


We all know we need to say “no” more often. But why is it so hard?


For many women, the word "no" can feel like a forbidden phrase. We're conditioned to be people-pleasers, to prioritize others' needs, and to shy away from setting boundaries. For other women, it’s about fear. Fear that saying “no” will cause us to lose an opportunity, or a client, or a friend, or even a job.


“No” can be scary.


But here's the truth: saying "no" is a superpower. It's the key to reclaiming your time, energy, and mental well-being.


Let’s dive into the power of "no" for women, along with practical tools and conversation starters to confidently set boundaries in various situations.


Mastering How to Say "No": Scripts and Strategies

Saying "no" doesn't have to be complicated. Here are some practical tools to navigate common scenarios:


1. The Direct Approach:

  • "Thank you for asking, but I can't take on that project right now." (Simple and clear)

  • "I'd love to help, but I have a prior commitment." (Highlights conflicting obligations)


2. The Amending Approach:

  • "That sounds interesting, but I can only commit to [smaller task]." (Offers an alternative)

  • "I appreciate you thinking of me, but I can't do it this week. Would [alternative time] work?" (Suggests a reschedule)


3. The Explanation Approach (Use with Caution):

  • "I'd love to join the committee, but I need to prioritize [existing commitments]." (Briefly explains your reasoning)


4. The "Broken Record" Technique:

If someone pushes back, politely repeat your no without justification.


5. All-Occasion Starters:

  • "I appreciate your request, but..."

  • "I'd love to help, however..."

  • "That sounds great, but I need to check my schedule..."

  • "Thank you for thinking of me, but I have a prior commitment..."

 

Remember:

  • You don't owe anyone an explanation for saying no.

  • It's okay to feel uncomfortable initially, but practice makes perfect!

  • A kind but firm "no" is better than a resentful "yes."

 

"No" is a complete sentence. By mastering the art of confidently saying no, you reclaim control of your time, energy, and well-being, paving the way for a more fulfilling and empowered life.

 

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